


Feelings, We All Have Them

by D_Exphagus



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24898849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D_Exphagus/pseuds/D_Exphagus
Summary: Continuing the First Time Verse, this one deals with Natasha realizing what she feels for Maria.Spoilers - it's love.
Relationships: Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 4
Kudos: 76
Collections: The First Times Maria and Natasha ...





	Feelings, We All Have Them

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm back and writing and posting this at 3 am because these 2 just would not shut up in my head.  
> Thanks for all the love shown in the previous fics and hope you enjoy this one too!

In first few days, Natasha merely lingered by the doorway of Maria’s room at the medical bay of the Helicarrier. Going in would be hard for her. Going in would acknowledge, that what they had equated to more than just being colleagues. More than just fuck buddies. More than just Agent Romanoff and Commander Hill. Going in would mean that Natasha cared.  


So, Natasha stood by the threshold, unwilling to enter and face the facts that Maria Hill probably meant more to her than just a friend. Natasha might be good at suppressing memories, especially memories of growing up in the Red Room, but she was never one to deny her own feelings. Especially now that she was allowed to have feelings.

So, who was she kidding? Commander Hill was the Deputy Director of SHIELD. Agent Hill was a colleague. Maria was a friend. And Masha was … Masha was probably more than that.

Natasha sighed and left the medbay, her thoughts swirling noisily in her head.

The second week saw Natasha venturing in and taking a seat in the uncomfortable plastic chair that adorned the side of every bed in the SHIELD medbay. Not even Maria’s status as the Commander warranted her a more comfortable chair than the plastic ones they offered for visitors.

Not that Maria had much, if any. Fury had been the only one that Natasha had seen entering Maria’s room ever since she was brought in unconscious from an op that had gone south. That was 3 weeks ago. It had been 2 weeks since then that she was put into a medically induced coma in an attempt to further help her body heal.

It had been a week since Natasha had sat down beside Maria at the bed and gently reached out to trace the bruises that spattered Maria’s otherwise flawless feature. 

Natasha barely even looked up when Fury entered the small room, his steps faltering for a semi second, barely showing his surprise at seeing Natasha there.

“Romanoff.” He acknowledged, nodding his head once before stopping at the edge of Maria’s bed and picking up the charts that seemed to tell him of Maria’s medical progress.

“Director.” Natasha replied, curtly, staring intently at a spot above Maria’s eyebrow where a jagged scar lingered. Natasha’s fingers itched to touch it. Touch her.

Truth to be told, Natasha longed to do a lot of things. 

And in all honesty, most of these things she longed to do involved Maria in some manner or the other. At least, it involved Maria being awake for it.

It involved Maria opening her blue eyes while she watched Natasha silently when the assassin would sneak into Maria’s quarters after hours.

It involved Maria popping her head into Natasha’s quarters and making plans for dinner on the weekend.

It involved Maria letting a lingering touch brush against her waist as she walked past Natasha in the corridors.

It involved Maria giving her a bruising kiss whenever she had to leave the bed for an early morning briefing while Natasha still lingered naked in Maria’s bed.

It involved Maria smiling at her, the intensity of the look making the tips of her ears turn as red as her hair at the emotions that Maria evoked in her.

They all involved Maria. Maria. Maria.

Natasha took in a shuddered breath and studied the pale face on the bed. There were so many things left unsaid between them. 

“The doctors are taking the IV out tomorrow.” Fury broke the silence between them. “She’ll be out of the coma within the next few days.” He continued, as if informing Natasha of Maria’s medical progress was a norm between Directors and Agents. 

Natasha nodded and cleared her throat. “What’s the prognosis?” She asked instead, her eyes never leaving Maria’s face. 

“Good.” Fury replied, taking a step forward and settling it heavily on Natasha’s shoulder. The redhead flinched slightly, but did not move away otherwise. “She’ll get through it, Romanoff.” Fury said. He gave her shoulder a squeeze as Natasha turned green eyes on him. “Hill’s a fighter.”

Natasha gave him a small smile at that. “That she is, Director.” She turned her head back towards Maria as Fury gave her shoulder another squeeze before stepping away and walking out of the door.

Natasha leaned forward in her seat and gently took Maria’s hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. “Hey.” She whispered softly. She brushed her thumb on the back of Maria’s knuckles and let her hand rest on top of Maria’s.

“You’re gonna want to hear a lot of things that I want to say to you, Maria.” Natasha started. “I figured I could tell you some now to make it easier for when I can see your eyes looking back at me when I do.”

She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders, as though getting ready for battle. “I don’t do feelings, Hill.” She looked imploringly at the still figure of Maria on the bed. “I barely do friendships.” She snorted self deprecatingly. “I definitely don’t do relationships, I don’t think I know how.” 

Natasha moved back down on her chair and laughed humourlessly. “But you certainly found a way to get under my skin and cement yourself in my life, haven’t you?”

“I don’t do love.” Natasha felt the sting of tears behind her eyes and she blinked them away. “The Red Room never taught us about that. Love was a weakness. Love was definitely not for the Widows that they trained.”

Natasha exhaled shakily and leaned over Maria’s face and breathed into her ear. “But this thing between us, Hill.” She trailed off, just breathing in the scent of the Commander amidst the medical tang of the medbay.

“This thing between us is real, Hill.” She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead slightly against Hill’s on the bed. “I know you’ve let me set the pace and I know you haven’t pushed. But I also know you’ve wanted to talk to me about it. I know ... or at least I think I know how you feel about me.”

Natasha brushed her lips against the shell of Maria’s ear. “And I know now that this thing I feel for you?” She smiled sadly as she placed a small kiss on Maria’s chapped lips. “It’s love.”

Natasha settled back onto her chair and gave Maria’s hand one last squeeze. “So come back to me, all right?” She took a deep breath. “Come back to me so you can tease me when I gather the courage to say it to your face, won’t you?” 

Giving the unmoving commander one last look, Natasha left the room.  
_________________________________________

“Hey.” 

Maria looked up from the book she held in her hand. Giving the redhead a small smile, she waved Natasha in. “Romanoff.” Maria placed the book down.

Natasha slinked in gracefully and set a bottle of wine down on the table next to Maria’s bed.

Maria raised her eyebrow at the gesture. “You know I’m not cleared to have that yet, right?” She eyed the bottle of wine wistfully. “Damn, it’s been too long.”

Natasha gave her a small smirk. “Just invite me along for when you can.” She settled herself in the damn chair next to the bed. “How are you feeling?”

Maria cocked her head to the side and considered the question. “I’ve been better.”

Natasha snorted at Maria’s reply. “I’ll bet.”

Maria gave her a smile. “As good as I can be for someone drugged up for the better part of a month.” Maria shrugged. “Doctors say I should be cleared to leave in 2 days, if the reports keep showing progress.” She shrugged again. “I can’t say that the bed in my quarters would be more comfortable than this though.”

“Yeah? I’m pretty sure we’ve got some shore leave accumulated.” Natasha smiled at the brunette. “How’s the head? Do you … remember anything?”

Maria studied the assassin in front of her, careful to keep her gaze neutral at Natasha’s offhand comment. “The last thing I remember was the blow that knocked me unconscious in the warehouse. After that …” She trailed off and looked around the room. “… I woke up here and the doctors tell me I’ve been asleep for 24 days.” She shrugged again and looked at Natasha and carefully considered her next words.

“The doctors also tell me that you’ve visited.” Maria quietly watched as Natasha bit her lip and refused to meet her eyes. “A couple of times.” She paused. “In a day.” Another pause. “For the past 2 weeks.”

Natasha cursed in what was probably Russian. “What are they, all spies now? So much for doctor confidentiality.”

Maria laughed at that and ran a hand through her hair. “I’m pretty sure that that’s just between doctors and their patients.” She teased Natasha, who was now scowling at her. “Missed me?” Maria gave Natasha a grin, mirth in her eyes.

Natasha met her gaze unflinchingly. “As a matter of fact, I did.” Natasha bit back a smile as Maria blushed slightly beneath her honest gaze.

Maria slowly reached out a hand to rest atop Natasha’s hand on the bed. “I’m sorry.”

Natasha cocked her head to the side and searched Maria’s eyes. “For?”

Maria’s thumb swept across Natasha’s knuckles. “For making you worry. I bet I was a mess to look at.” She grinned at the red head.

Natasha rolled her eyes and stood up from where she was seated. “You were.” She agreed, leaning over closer to Maria. “You being in here also made me realise a couple of other things.” Natasha started to explain.

“Yeah? Like what?” Maria questioned, her blue eyes staring into Natasha’s as she leaned forward from her propped up pillow.

Natasha studied the woman below her as she contemplated her next words. Maria’s blue gaze offered nothing but honesty and affection in them as her hand lifted up gently to cup Natasha’s cheek.

She closed her eyes and leaned into Maria’s touch. It was comforting, like being with Maria usually was. “Like, what you mean to me.” She opened her eyes to stare directly into Maria’s. “Like, how I feel around you.” She paused and bit her lip. “How you make me feel.”

Natasha took in a breath and quietly whispered her confession. “Like how it’s time that you should know that I love you.” 

Maria sucked in a gasp at Natasha’s words as Natasha’s gaze dropped. Maria gently caressed the cheek still in her palm as she slowly brought Natasha’s chin up to look at her. 

“Nat.” Maria whispered. “Hey.”

Natasha looked up, her green eyes reflecting her emotions.

Maria swiped a thumb over the apple of her cheek and gave Natasha a smile. “The feeling’s mutual.” She paused as she waited for the meaning of the words to sink into Natasha’s consciousness. “I love you too.” She said, keeping it simple.

A relieved smile broke out on Natasha’s face at the words. She brought her hand up to hold Maria’s that was still on her cheek. “Yeah?” She choked, her voice coming out softly.

“Yeah.” Maria confirmed, giving Natasha another smile that was mirrored. “Well I don’t know about you, but I reckon these confessions usually come with a kiss, do they not?” She teased, her lip curling into a smirk.

Natasha rolled her eyes and blushed slightly. She didn’t need to be told twice as she leaned forward to join their lips. At the first contact, Natasha let out a small contented sigh.

It felt like coming home.


End file.
